Tuesday, November 29, 2005

DAY 26 - Sit on me when i'm dead

I decided our daily stroll destination should be the cemetery.

so, my brother and I walked the dead people place.



It was a nice walk and an odd cemetery.

.











My brother asked the ole 'so what do you want to have happen to you when you die' question.

I told him i didn't care. Sure, donate whatever to whoever. bury me, burn me, stuff me and display me. It doesn't matter to me. It's for everyone else but me.

He said he wanted to be buried, but didn't want his tombstone to be in the shape of a bench because he didn't want anyone to sit on him.

I do.

I want everyone to sit on me when i'm dead.

Maybe an old lady can rest on me during a visit to see a long lost love, look down and thank me.

So bury me and sit on me.

Or burn me and throw me in the forrest.

You decide.

Post in the comment section what should be done with my body.

DAY 25 - around bike

As you know, I've been posting (slowly, but surly) the ongoing saga that was Stroll-a-Day.

The idea of Stroll-a-Day was to go on a walk everyday with my brother for the month of november. I know you know too.

I had been keeping notes of what occured on each day so I could post about them later. My notes were shorthand. very shorthand. and in bad handwriting.

An example:
mojos -> metro -vomit became Breathing Tea

today's notes are: "around block - bike"
I have no idea what this means.

If you do, post in the comments section.

instead of reading about the lost stroll buy me the following:









Don't ask, just buy.

And cook me food.

me me me I and me.

-krilov out

DAY 22 - Pain go bye-bye juice

hey.

Went to my brother's and we walked to the liquor store. I bought a bottle of pain go bye-bye juice and we walked back.

nothing else fun happened. or maybe something did and i'm not caffeinated enough to remember.

DAY 21 - I fucked up

On tday, thanksgiving not tranny day (transvestite not transmission), I went over to my brother's pad.

Cat cooked a alternative meal.






Alt=not turkey.









Before din din mysh and I worked on some witty sayings stuff.

We ate.

Then back to witty saying stuff,.

My gal called me and was driving back to town, having visited her parents for the day, so I invited her over.










for pie.




We ate the awesome from-scratch pie and played a few board games I had never heard of but, enjoyed immensely.



The first was Apples to Apples.




It was fucking fun as shit. And, you know how fun shit is.
Very good party game.



The second was Wise and Otherwise.



Great great game. The kind I wanted to play over and over.



The third was Aquarius.

A strange card game that I hated. But you should buy it, so I can get money.




After all the fun and food it was time to retire.

I had to throw a brick through the TV to get everyone to stop playing:


After I got home, I realized something.

We spent all day together and didn't stroll.

Shit.


-krilov out

DAY 20 - get a job

It's day 20 of our Stroll-a-Day experiment.

Stop reading my blog and go buy Primer



Watch it and then explain it to me.

On day 20, we meet at Mojos at 6pm before I had to go sling queso at hell house. My brother and I walked around in west campus.

If you aren't familiar with west campus, it's an area on campus that's a little to the west.

It's also home to frats and sluts.























We talked mostly about a job that my brother applied for. It's a role playing game position for a company based out of england and a great opportunity for him.

I hope he gets it and you should too.


-krilov out

DAY 19 - Parking Pub Grub

At the request of my brother to eat a meat product at a hole-in-wall place, we went to Mike's Pub.

What is Mike's Pub? Wrong.

Where is Mike's Pub? Right.

It's in a parking garage. In it.









Cool Place.











While eating I noticed a guy drinking a huge beer ar the bar. He finished it, got up and walked around to the other side of the bar. My job sucks. We can't drink on break.


After burgers and fried we walked around downtown congress talking about our witty sayings.

Good times.

DAY 18 - Relics


We strolled to Roadhouse Relics and pressed against the window of the showroom.

That's it. Go buy Primer

DAY 17 - Crappy yoga

Go Buy Primer


Please post comments. Thanks.


My brother and I took another very short walk, as I was dying.

The Nut came with and took a left-leg-shaking-shit on a Yoga studio's lawn.











It was awesome.

-krilov out

DAY 16 - Getting Sick


what up?

I started getting sick.

My brother came over.

We check the mail, but got no new netflix.

DAY 15 - The Nut Freezes

hey, sit back. here come some quick posts.

My bro came over. we took a left instead of a right. We brought peanut (aka The Nut)with us. It was friggin cold and the tiny dog is still shivering.

Maybe, we should get him a sweater.


Saturday, November 26, 2005

Falling behind

I've fallen behind.

The next several posts should be coming soon.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

DAY 14 - a long one

The longest walk yet.

My bro came over and we went on a long (for our daily strolls) walk around my hood.
I think we were gone for almost 35 whole minutes, even tho I was being to get sick and I was cranky.

We talked about some really personal stuff that I wouldn't feel ok sharing without my brother's permission.

NOTE: the comments section is a wonderful place for granting permission.

This stroll felt more like what I had wanted from our daily strolls. Long enough to get the blood and conversation going. Short enough that my heart didn't explode or work up any of that icky sweat.

I got nothin else, so here's a monkey:



-krilov out

DAY 13 - steakette

I drove to my brother's place and we walked to the Frisco Shop.



It's a diner type place that's been around since 1952 or 1953, depending on which t-shirt you buy. It's an old ass place with old ass people.





Mysh had a grilled chicken caesar salad, I order the steakette. It came with fries and half a peach.





Our waitress' hair was the 9th wonder. Her wall of bangs mesmorized me and taunted me.

After making fun of her explosion of hair, I felt sorry for her. She had do one in her life to tell her she looked ridiculous.

We talked about our witty sayings
and our blogs.

After we left the 1950s time machine, we walked back to Mysh's place.

that's it. Nothin much. Gotta sling hash browns.



-krilov out

DAY 12 - breathing tea

Watch the trailer for The Squid and the Whale.


After slinging queso, we walked down the drag and back.

We got back to Mojos and had some tea. I was joking about something, making my brother laugh.



he has pinky rings.









They say when a boxer sees blood, he gets crazy and goes for the knockout. I think it's the same for jokes. When i see someone start to laugh with liquid in their mouth, I try to get it to shoot out of their nose.

It's called a snarf.

In 3rd grade I got a girl to shoot a pea out of her nose. I still demand a medal of honor.


My brother made the classic mistake. He took a sip of tea in the middle of a chuckle. I cracked a another joke.
He started to struggle.
I went in for the kill.
joke jab.
joke jab.
He started to choke.
I could see it, so close. the snarf was about to happen.
I could see the tea shooting out of his nose.
Here we go.

quip uppercut.





He puked.

Literally. He barfed. It was awesome.

Maybe i should change the name to Daily Puke, thoughts?

-krilov

DAY 11 - Voodoo

After slinging queso, we walked from Mojos to the Metro and back. Along the way I told my Scientology story:

One day walking along the drag, I spotted a familiar scam.

a scam that looks like this:












They call it a "free stress test".

I call it a free excuse to tell you there's something wrong with you so we can invite you in and brainwash you. I guess 'stress test' is shorter.

So they had their lil table set up outside the 'church', or bookstore, or whatever.



As I walked by the venus fly trap, the alien spoke.

"Would like a free stress test" he said.

"VooDoo!" I screamed, waving my hands in the air. then continuing on.

"ok" he replied, As if he got that all the time.

I guess I was pissed that he didn't react.


end of story.

end of stroll.

-krilov out.

DAY 10 - dog and stones

Ok. Here we go.
My memory fades post sleep.

My brother came to my swinging pad, and we walked down in the hidden neighborhood near my love nest. Along for the walk, we brought Peanut. Peanut (aka 'the nut') belongs to Monica (aka mo). Mo belongs to Phillip(aka pd. PD is my housemate. Recently, Pd has moved Mo and 'The Nut' into our place. I guess I slept thru the voting.


Anywho, mysh and I strolled down a street stumbling upon a very odd odd thing.

a giant cock.




next to a trapoline.













we strolled further. and found a car with its bumper ripper off and thrown threw its window.







Next, we found a hippy with too much time on his hands.




This dude spent who know how many years piling stones on each other. He also found small stones that look like letters and spelled out words, sentences, and even his entire address.



Very strange. He wasted so much time playing with rocks.

He could have spent his time:
-working
-bathing
-protesting the war
-sending me money
-curing ball cancer (sorry lance)
-helping the elderly
-baking cupcakes


That being said, it was kinda nice. Mysh and I stood there admiring the work. We noticed a phrase about birds and tress.





And then we notice 'The Nut' peeing on it.











Who says chihuahua mutts don't take a political stand?

-krilov out

Monday, November 14, 2005

DAY 9 - how witty

If you haven't seen The Squid and the Whale, you should.

no time? read the script:


no eyes? listen to the soundtrack:


After My brother and I agreed to try our hand at witty sayings, we meet at the now routine Mojo's and read our sayings to each other.

I was really impressed by what we came up with for a first try.

More on this later.

We walked to The Metro and turned around. I don't remember anything else.

sue me.

Serving gallons of queso to really annoying ass people apparently affects my memory.

I had a 9-top, waiter slang for a table with 9 peeps, who's bill was 115 bucks and they left me zero tip. Ahh, sterotypes.

tip you bastards!

I've taken off my mask

I changed the template back to the original.

Be warned: This is temporary.

I seek a new style. mostly because this color is too close to "burnt organge". (throw the phrase into google if you're confused)

stop reading this blog and go see The Squid and the Whale

I'm really serious.

Go.

Stop.



Go see it.


-krilov out.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

DAY 8 - Krilov Inc.

whoop whoop whoop.

Morning folks.

Any thoughts on the color change should be left in the comment section.


My brother and I meet at Mojo's.

Here's the back of the coffee place:




Now, imagine the lovely clientele in attendance.

Today's conversation was all about starting some sort of biz on the side. Not a wacky idea to quit our, or my, job over. More of a small fun alternative stream of income. Inspired by a Steve Pavlina Podcast about making money in a non-standard way. Something other than the exchange of my time for their money. Their dirty delicious money.

This time we took a left and walked just past Toy Joy.



The most fantastic toy store ever. (as noted by the mexicans above)

It's also ADD central.

I told mysh we had to come back another time, pulling a shiny flashy toy out of his grip.

We left.

He and I agreed to come up with some witty sayings that we could use to set up a CafePress store.


-krilov out.

DAY 7

Ok, ok. This starts the first of a few quick posts to get up to date the Stroll-a-Day experiment.

thank you. all of you.

We meet Mojo's, a coffee place on 'The Drag'.




We took a right and walked to Le Fun, an aracde.

Upon entering I took the right fork, Mysh (Mischa, aka my brother)took the left. Meeting back at the front.

Mysh, xmas morning faced, exclaimed "They're for sale"

"Yeh, but no Air hockey" I reply.

He tilted his head to right, confused. "They...are....for...sale" he said, as if i didn't understand.

We walked back to Mojo's, the whole way I spoke about life goals. Mysh remained silent. I thought he was listening. I thought.

I stopped ranting.

Silence.

walking.

walking.


From inside, mysh said "I'm really thinking..." My ears perked up "...about buying Ms Pacman."





-krilov out

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

DAY 6 - throwing away money





so here's what happened.

I've had to begin physical therapy for my recent surgery.

Siting in the theater, watching Jarhead, I was struck with a violent boredom spasm that left me injured.


Yes. Yes I did. I was so angry and the screen, I wanted to throw rotten tomatoes at it.

The problem:

I didn't have any rotten tomatoes. Mine were too ripe.

So, I threw my own testicles at the movie.

After I came to, I watched an usher upset that my crotch blood was harder to clean up than popcorn.

Sorry hector, I don't bleed popcorn. I wish I did.

Anywho, I happy with my new testicular implants.



THANKS NEUTICLES!

Dear Hollywood, why must you throw money away?

Please send it to me instead.

Thanks,

-krilov


Day 6 of the Stroll-a-Day, was spent walking to Blockfucker to return Primer, which I ended up borrowing.

We mostly chatted about a recent fight that a friend of mine had, and a game that my brother is working on.

I checked out his surround sound setup and then had to take off to my girlfriend's place for dinner.

She made me hummus and falafel at my request.(she's a keeper)



more later

-krilov out

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Day 5 - Bitches

dear readers,

I hope both of you are enjoying my blog. I work hard to spend at least 3mins when writing my posts.

I forgot to include the pictures from day 4

so here they are:



Too dark



Too crap






After watching the best movie I've seen in a long time, we went for a stroll to the licker sto.

exercising to buy rum, is like when I caught Craig smoking on a treadmill.

I get jokes, do you?

Anywho, mysh and I had a really nice chat about life, childhood, our father, and our future.



and then of course, mysh changed the topic to cheeseburgers and rainbows.



I miss uncle helmut. He was a good man.

-krilov out

Monday, November 07, 2005

Day 4

My intitial fantastic post was eaten by the internet. Having to recreate it, the post is now less long and less funny. Generally it's just less.

My brother and I took a stroll to return dvds that he and cat had rented.

They rented:

-The American Pie Trilogy (now a quadrilogy)
-White Noise (i liked batman)
-Primer (i borrowed)
-something else? (can't remember)

That's what you do know, here is what you don't know:

The videostore was...

...BLOCKFUCKER


Needless to say I gave him a good cane to the old ass.




If you live in austin go to Vulcan Video, they have a 2for1 deal on tues and weds. It makes me want to live another week.









-krilov out

DAY 3

we went on a walk.


what do you want from me?



-krilov out

Saturday, November 05, 2005

DAY 2

A stroll-a-day, the sequel.

What happened:

-awoke early
-wrote for around give or take all day
-my brother arrived (wearing not shorts)
-we walked for 10mins
-turned around
-did the hokie pokie
-walked back
-I went to work

"work" is now going to be referred to as "suck".

If you don't understand this idea, screw you and your good job.



I have to go get ready for suck.

-krilov out

Friday, November 04, 2005

"Damn Birds!"


My brother and I, after taking a cue from a post from the fantastic blog of Steve Pavlina, decided to take a stroll-a-day for 30 days.

We're gonna:

-wear shorts
-meet
-walk for at least 20 mins
-chat and sculpt tofu into marcus aurelius


The most difficult thing is meeting everyday and wearing shorts.


DAY 1

I drove to my brother's place, aftering getting lost.

Along the way I saw a girl with an eye mask on walking with a white cane. The blind imposter almost cost me an insurance claim. It's very distracting when people spend the day walking aroud to find out what it's like to be blind.

Girls are silly.

We walked to CVS to buy an envelope.
The doors open and old people poured out of the store.


Asking what kind of car they were giving away, the clerk laughed and relplied:
"flu shots"

Damn birds.


-krilov out

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

FREE AT LAST!



Thanks god almighty. I got the day off.

Had a poor ex-ecstasy dealer co-worker not called to pick up my shift, I would have had to fling queso TEN friggin days in a row.

TEN DAYS!

That's hard.

Today is going to be such a successful fun day.

I'm gonna:

-go to the bank
-do my laundry
-control the media
-read the first few pages of Slaughterhouse Five
-take advantage of Vulcan Video's 2for1 dvd deal
-implode
-work on my script
-paint my nose hair with a tiny midget artist's brush
-go to the library and see if they give me books or arrest me
-finish my novel "Sebastian's Pudding Sandwich"

What are you gonna do?

-krilov out

why?

During a conversation with my mother, on why she should start a blog, she asked me if i had a blog.

I said "No".

"Why?" she asked.

"I'm not sure I feel comfortable with all that" I said.

The thing is, I'm trying to grow as a person, and i think part of that is doing things that make you uncomfortable or things you fear.
So I'm gonna do things that make me uncomfortable.

I'm gonna:

-exercise
-eat raw vegetables
-sleep on a bed of lava with cockroaches in my ears
-start a blog.
-shave with a john deere
-send my resume to production companies

krilov out